From the ages of 26 to 36 I lived feeling little or nothing sexually attractive. My self-esteem was on the floor due to the fact that I did not know how to correctly manage that my ex-partner now did not want to have sex with me. Having different sexual desires than your partner is normaland there are always comings and goings, but if there is always a “no” in his mouth without explanations, these continued refusals inevitably affect your sexual self-esteem.
Lack of sex can be a reason to leave the relationshipbut beyond that, not feeling desired or sexually attractive can end up affecting your sexual self-esteem and the image you have of yourself.
The reason I’m telling you this is because, just as not feeling sexually attractive has a negative impact on us, feeling sexually attractive also has an effect on you. It actually has many positive effects according to science, and we explain them to you below.
What happens to us when we feel sexually attractive?
The psychologist Nahum Montagud Rubio explains to us that sexual self-esteem is the assessment we have of our person in different sexual aspects, and feeling sexually attractive would fall within this sexual self-esteem. But how does it affect us?
Although there is limited research on the implications of feeling sexually attractive for various aspects of sexuality and sexual relationships, we have found one published in International Journal of Psychology in which they examined the possible associations between self-perceived sexual attractiveness and sexual esteem, with sexual life.
According to the study by Amos, N., & McCabe, M., which was carried out on 2,893 women and men with different sexual orientations: heterosexual, gay or lesbian, and bisexual. The results of the study demonstrated that “positive self-perceptions of sexual attractiveness predicted higher sexual esteem, greater sexual satisfaction, greater frequency of sexual activity with others, and a greater number of sexual partners.”
Specifically and as we see in the study, the effects of feeling sexually attractive are four:
More security and confidence
Just like it happens to self-confident people in other aspects such as labor, Feeling sexually attractive makes us more confident in bed and during relationships, being able to live these with greater freedom. It allows us, for example, propose new things to our partner without being ashamed.
more sexual satisfaction
As the study explains, a greater perception of our attractiveness translates into greater satisfaction in sexual experiences lived. The psychologist and sexologist Mamen Jiménez explained that not feeling comfortable with your body is one of the reasons why you may be enjoying sex less.
more sex
The fact of Feeling sexually attractive is a breeding ground for having more sexual relationships.. If we do not feel comfortable with our body, it is likely that sexual desire decreases and we avoid sexual relations out of shame.
More sexual partners
The last of the conclusions reached by the scientific study is that people who feel sexually attractive have more sexual partnersstatistically speaking.
When we have high sexual self-esteem, we have a more fulfilling sexual life. Little word of science.
Photos | Euphoria (HBO Max)
In Jared | The secret so that your partner likes to give you oral sex and that increases your pleasure is candy
In Jared | How to use your Satisfyer and get the most out of it (alone and with a partner)