You meet a Tinder guy or girl at a bar for a drink. You see each other, you even like each other and you start talking at a table. But your partner starts pulling out the phone when you talk. And not once to look at the time, but a lot. Or you get one notification after another in the smart watch and watch again and again. And you think, “Am I boring you?”
It is a practice that is more than likely that you have suffered or even that you are doing it without realizing it. Well, we have bad news: he phubbing could be ruining your relationship.
what is the phubbing
He phubbing telephone is a term formed from the English words telephone (phone) and snubbing (ignore) and greatly simplifying the definition is what we would understand as pay more attention to the phone than to the person in front of thembe it our partner, a friend or the date you have from tinder.
The use of mobile phones has become a habit in our appointments and in our relationships. It is not surprising for us to enter a restaurant and see the mobile of both members of the couple on the table. The problem would be when that mobile receives more attention than the person in front of us. That contempt and lack of attention to the other person in pursuit of the mobile or any other electronic device is what we would call phubbing.
Why does my partner make me phubbing
According to the ‘Digital 2022 April Global Statshot’ report by data reportpublished in collaboration with We Are Social and hoot suitemore than 5.32 billion people around the world now use a mobile phone, which is equivalent to 67% of the population.
But there is more, because according to a University of Kent study conducted by Varoth Chotpitayasunondh and Karen Douglas, one of the causes of ignoring the person we are with is addiction to mobile phones. One more fact, 45% of university students suffer from nomophobia (addiction to mobile phones) according to the study that presented the Spanish Network of Health Promoting Universities and the Mapfre Foundation.
The consequences of doing phubbing (and how to avoid it)
Nobody likes to feel ignored, but the consequences of this practice in our relationships go further. Przybylski and Weinstein assure in this study that he phubbing is capable of reducing the perception of closeness, trust and quality of conversation between two peoplesomething that is much more accentuated if the member who is not with the mobile is talking about something that he considers emotionally important.
We always talk to you about the importance of communication as a couple in all areas of the relationship. Communicating is the essential basis for a couple to work, and the use of technology in this way is an obstacle.
Also if we do phubbing and we repeatedly ignore other people when we are aware of the mobile we cause them to return this action for reciprocity and we end up both mobile in hand and connected to a screen, which causes a disconnection (paradoxically) from our partner.
Beatriz Gomez Alsar, General Health Psychologist, already He explained to us that “leave the mobile face down on the table, or in the bag/backpack so as not to constantly check it” is an excellent idea if we are not alone, because in this way we will pay more attention to the person in front of us.
Photos | Clem Onojeghuo, Shawn Fields and Ross Sokolovsky in Unsplash
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