The world of dating and relationships can be wonderful, or downright torture. If the people we met along the way had a minimum of affective responsibility and empathy, we would not have to warn you of practices as toxic as the one we are going to explain to you today.
It’s called “catch and release”and unfortunately, like divingis an alarm signal that this person does not want to be your partner, no matter how much their mouth says otherwise.
What is “catch and release”
The expression “catch and release” literally translates from English as “catch and release”, and comes from sport fishing, specifically a technique in which the animal is captured and then released back into the water. Well now we are going to transfer it to relationships: it is that person who looks for you, conquers you and eats your ear until you stay, whatever happens happens and then they leave without looking back, releasing you like a fish they have captured.
It is that person that makes you love bombing, he says “good morning, princess”, he tells you how great and wonderful you are on Tinder and Whatsapp, he insists on staying, getting to know you and creating a bond with you. AND Two things can happen: that it disappears after sex, or that when he notices that you increase the intensity, he gets scared and runs away..
Thus, consciously or unconsciously, when intimacy increases and that bond that he had sought so much is created, he backs down. Before, she was interested, and a lot, but that interest vanishes overnight when they catch and release us.
The Instagram account of Subversive Masculinity, highly recommended if you didn’t know her because she always makes wonderful reflections, she explained just that to us in one of her last posts. In her case, she talks about how the relationship seemed perfect until there was sex and then, one of the people he did not want to bond as intensely as he had led his potential partner to believe.
There are those who can even take it as a “game” to conquer another person, get what they want and then leave, sign that we are facing a misogynist if we talk about heterosexual relationships. This method manages to feed the ego of narcissistic profiles as the psychologist Júlia Pascual explains in her book narcissists and you.
Narcissists and you: Learn to manage them in all areas of your life (Self-help and improvement)
Evident is a toxic behavior that affects the person who suffers it, who does not understand the change in attitude of the other person who goes from wanting something to looking for something statusship one of those that the zetas love. We might think that it is only fear of commitment, but in reality we are facing a lack of empathy and affective responsibility.
And although it is very difficult to detect it, because it is usually something that a profile we have just met makes us, it is important that if it happens to us we understand that it is not our fault and that there is nothing wrong with us. The lack of sincerity of another person cannot be our responsibility, just like it’s not an infidelity.
Even so, if you have suffered from it and it has affected you, you can go to a psychological professional so that with their help and the appropriate tools, you can overcome it.
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Photos | Evan Wise and Jonathan Borba in Unsplash
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