Before I start telling you what you have come to read, I want to tell you something: romantic love is not essential to be happy far from it. Romantic love is a good travel companion, but we can be as happy alone as with a partner.
Well, with this concept cleared up, we are going to introduce you to Gary W. Lewandowski Jr, the relationship psychologist who has consulted with several experts to tell us some Secrets on how to find a partner for life (and keep it)something that seems to us almost a chimera in times in which the fast love it is fashionable
Getting to know each other, the best trick to find someone to share life with
We could tell you that the key to finding love is not looking for it or some cliché of the style that you have surely heard in moments like a separation (if you are now living through one and cannot mark a Shakirazo as Tiniwrite these down tips to get over a break up because they are holy hands). But we all know that saying that is actually not telling you anything.
![How to find a partner](https://i0.wp.com/i.blogs.es/05a642/como-encontrar-pareja-/450_1000.jpeg?w=788&ssl=1)
There is something that must be clear and it is that before knowing anyone, we have to know ourselves themselves. In fact, Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Tendencies He affirmed that “dedicating time to yourself brings you closer to self-love and respect for your person. The more you appreciate and value yourself, the less risk you will have of falling into an unhealthy relationship. just by having someone else’s validation.”
We need to know each other to know what we want and to be clear about what we are looking for from the beginning of the relationship. If we spend time alone, we can reflect on previous relationships. Looking for love implies getting to know each other in order to fulfill the three essentials according to Adam LoDolce, founder of LoveStrategies.com, for love to last: attraction, compatibility and friendship. Without knowing how we are, it is an impossible task.
The experts of study They tell us what points are key to finding the love of your life and maintaining that relationship.
- Date with intention. Besides practicing the slow datingit is important to start dating with the intention of finding and for that, and according to experts you have to “take a step back and reflect on who you are, what you want and why dating has not yet worked for you”.
- Clear expectations and clear communication. spoilers: romantic love as we know it in the movies does not exist. it’s better instead think about the ideal partner based on the values and goals you have to find someone who has them in common with you. Let’s forget about pretty faces and movie physical attractions to focus on what kind of life we are looking for, for example, and talk to our partner or potential partner about all that. From the most absolute sincerity we will achieve much more.
- Trust yourself. No one knows better than you what you want and don’t want, what you want, long for and seek. Listen to your intuition so to speak and listen to yourself. If something tells you that it is not for you, listen to it..
![How to find a stable partner](https://i0.wp.com/i.blogs.es/da9467/como-encontrar-pareja-estable/450_1000.jpeg?w=788&ssl=1)
When you have a partner, work with them on empathy, support and the positive aspects of each one instead of trying to change them. In addition, Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, assures that “maintaining the three basic mating drives is imperative to increase the chemicals of attachment” and that the relationship works in the long term. These are to practice sex regularly (we tell you how many times a week does science say you have to do it as a couple), doing new things together and maintaining physical contact (kissing, hugging, touching…).
Love can be learned. There is something that must be clear and that is that for it to work, we will have to work on it, both with our communication skills as a couple as setting limits.
Photos | freestocks, Natalia Sobolivska and Candice Picard in Unsplash