Purists might think that with the number of words that Spanish has, there is no need to add Anglo-Saxon terms to explain something we already know. But sometimes, those terms give voice to practices that we have experienced but for which we had no name before.
It is the case of the terrible ghostingfor example, of the no better cricketingor of love bombing. And it is also the case of the term that generation Z has coined and that we present to you today. It we have lived in the first person and it is called curved.
What is curving
According to psychologist Susana Martínez, in it curved a person begins by showing interest and then “gradually withdraws, avoiding engaging or establishing clear communication”. That is, he does not want another date with you but he is not able to tell you, which can lead not only to confusion, but also to frustration on the part of the person suffering from it.
This technique avoids direct rejection and turns it into a rejection so subtle that the person receiving it cannot interpret it that way. In addition, whoever practices it seeks to leave the door of that relationship open, which is not only selfish, it is also a sign of a null affective responsibility and can cause negative effects on the recipient.
Confusion, guilt, anxiety, uncertainty, emotional exhaustion, loss of confidence or insecurity due to the lack of explanation are some of the effects that, according to psychologist Rafael Alcaraz Sánchezcould have the curved on the person who receives it.
This type of behavior is nothing but a lack of respect and consideration towards others. If you’re not interested in someone, being honest and clear and letting the other person know is the more mature option.
How to identify what they are doing to me curved
An example so we can understand it better. someone is making us curved When asked, we’ll meet on Tuesday he answers us with an ambiguous “maybe” instead of saying something like “it was nice meeting you, but I don’t think we have a future.”, wish you all the best”. someone makes us curved when they don’t stop writing to us, but they answer with monosyllables to end the conversation but without saying it clearly. someone makes us curved when he keeps writing to us but changes the subject if we tell him to meet. a person who does curved it is and is not at the same time like Schrodinger’s cat.
The curvers they want to look nice, but in reality they are leaving open a door that they do not want open, and they do not have the courage to end the relationship. Unlike with him ghostingThose who practice it do not disappear, they only respond vaguely, make excuses, avoid dating and take time to respond to someone’s messages instead of rejecting them. Because yes, when they make you curved They don’t want to be with you.
If you have detected what they are doing to you curvedit is important first that you accept the reality of the situation and don’t be fooled into thinking that things are going to change. If someone curves you, it is because they are not interested in having a relationship with you. If the situation makes you uncomfortable, communicate it clearly, set limits and if the curved still, keep going, walk away because it’s going to do you more harm than good.
Photos | Jarritos Mexican Soda, jenny ueberberg and David Suarez in Unsplash
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