We continue to swell a glossary of terminology related to relationships that seems to never end, but this bonding with someone goes a long way. This time we are going to talk about a concept that we have suffered, but also caused couples with whom we have been.
Is called banksying and it has to do with the end of a relationshipbut although it seems to us a priori a good idea, it is not. I tell you from experience.
What is a banksying in relationships
The word banksying comes from banksy, the well-known British artist. Specifically, it comes from the performance that was marked with his work “Girl with a balloon” in 2018. We could say that Banksy’s is ephemeral art with a capital letter, because after auctioning his work for 1.18 million euros, the artist destroyed the painting before the astonished eyes of all present.
Evidently Banksy prepared the self-destruction of his workand it is in this detail that the definition at the level of pairs of banksyingwhich translated from English could be something like “become a Banksy”. He banksying It refers to those people who have been knowing for a long time that the relationship is going to end, as Banksy knew he would end his work. Those people who spend weeks knowing that a relationship is going to end and planning that break just as the artist planned.
According to a Plenty of Fish survey, one in four people had carried it out in their life and 44% of those surveyed thought they had suffered it at some time. I between them and in the second group.
When you meet your partner after many years and you see that there are patterns that suddenly change but to the question of what’s wrong with you? the answer is always nothingYou know something’s up. And something fat. I know because I have experienced it not once, but twice and with the same person.
I know what you think “this very smart girl is not”. Well hey, maybe you’re right, because my partner was thinking of leaving me for months on two occasions in my life. Not that he considered it, something that anyone who has been in a relationship has been able to think. Not that I thought”Is it time to quit or is it worth it to keep trying?” It is that I knew that I would do it and I was planning how to do it. He was marking a banksying.
I’m not with him, don’t think I’ll fall a third time. But it is that a friend has been in that situation and she explained to me that she did it because she did not know how to raise it and she did not want to hurt her partner. Olga (fictitious name to protect my dear friend), she thought that keeping the relationship longer while she thought about how to deal with it, was a good idea. “Now I know I was just being selfish, but I didn’t even know how to tell him.and I thought that if I let more time pass I would think of a better way to leave him.
Does not exist. I mean, whenever we leave someone, it’s going to hurt. It is possible that both parties. Human beings are programmed to love., to establish links with other people. And unfortunately breaking that bond hurts.
Evidently you can break up with a couple out of respect and try to make that breakup as painless as possible. Get over the breakup It will cost us more or less, but it can be done. However, If the decision has already been made and you know that you do not want to continue with your current partner, do not make a banksying.
It is possible that the banksying is one more example of how sometimes we do not know how to deal with the affective responsibility for our couples.
What we can assure you is that using communication to tell that person with whom you have shared part of your life that it is over is the best way to break up with someone. Nothing of ghostingnothing of slow fadingnothing of banksying. Only the truth.
Photos | Maxim Kotov, Iuriy Melentsov and andrea riondino in Unsplash
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