Love is such a deep, complex and natural feeling that for years it has been the protagonist of romantic moviesof songs, of novels and of any expression of art that exists.
They say that love is what moves the world, that love heals us, that it completes us, even if we do not agree with this if we talk about romantic love because we are not incomplete. Shakespeare said that “love is a smoke that comes out of the vapor of sighs; dissipating, a fire that sparkles in the eyes of lovers; being suffocated, a sea nourished by the tears of lovers. What else is it? It is a very sensible madness, a gall that drowns, sweetness that preserves.
Love seems all but strangely That love is not the secret that guarantees the happiness of a couple.. That there is love is not synonymous with that this will last forever. And we don’t say it, science says it.
What is the secret to happiness as a couple?
An international team of 85 researchers has identified the main factors behind a satisfying and happy relationship, and has conducted A study which, thanks to artificial intelligence, was in charge of analyzing the cases, includes more than 12,000 couples and data from 29 different laboratories. And the conclusions are that we can’t be happy with love alone.
One of the conclusions of the study is that the success or otherwise of the relationship, as well as the happiness of the couple, depends to a large extent on the individual characteristics of each member and on each one’s own thoughts about the relationship. In fact, the knowing that the other member of the couple is engaged with it is a fundamental factor in maintaining a successful relationship.
The level of intimacy, understood as the feeling that you are understood and loved, is also a decisive factor for success and according to the study, there are “relationship-specific predictors” such as recognition of your partner, sexual satisfaction (which has little to do with the number of times a couple has to have sex) or the perception of the relationship that the other member of our couple has, that is, if we feel that the other person is happy with us.
If we think about it, they are actually logical factors. That happiness depends on me, on what I perceive and feel, is key according to the study. In my case, for example, having those factors that we have talked about causes me that happiness when I am in a relationship.
It makes me happy to think that my partner admires me, to feel that he is also happy with me and that he is committed.. On a physical and intimate level, sexual satisfaction is also part of happiness (beware, we are not talking about number of orgasms, we have already explained to you that the fun is the path and not the destination), but it is much more so the feeling that he listens to me and understands me. Exactly as the study explains.
Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias, already spoke to us about the importance of communication if what we want is to have a healthy relationship, but now we know the secret to happiness in that relationship and no, it’s not love. Or at least it is not the only thing we need to be happy as a couple
Photos | Allan Dias, mimi lalaa and freestocks in Unsplash
In Jared | These are the most handsome men in the world (and we have something for everyone)