If instead of having to find out where we are with that boy, there were more affective responsibility on both sides and we were clear from the beginning with our relationships, we would save time, theories and some other drama.
But the internet is like the night of Game of Thrones: it is dark and harbors horrors. That is why theories arise that aim to facilitate the task of having an appointment and avoiding having to do questions to meet someone with a person who does not want anything with us.
One of those theories has gone viral on TikTok as did the proximity crush, and we have come to tell you about it because sharing is beautiful. It’s all about the call “box theory” or “box theory”.
What is the box theory
The “box theory” was coined by TikTok influencer Christina Najjar (@Tinx), with more than 1.5M followers and nicknamed the big sister of TikTok. She has even written a book, The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself in which he develops that and other theories focused on heterosexual women.
The box theory, as explained by Tinx in 2021, points out that when a guy meets a girl in a romantic setting, like a date on a dating app, puts you in one of three boxes: he wants to be your partner, he only wants to sleep with you, and he wants nothing with you. This theory shared on his TikTok account went viral.
In addition, the tiktoker says that eIt is very difficult to go from one box to another and that your behavior doesn’t really affect which box you’re in. He insists on this, stating that “if he meets you and says, ‘I want to go out with this girl,’ you could throw up on his shoes and sleep with him the first night, and it wouldn’t matter”. She explains that this theory is not something limiting but rather liberating, because it allows you not to chase something that will not be. To insist on going out with someone who does not want to be with us and who, for example, is making us breadcrumbing.
@tinx Reply to @allegra0312 my box theory™️ #datingexpert #datingadviceformen #datingtiktok #datinghack #adviceforgirls #rules
♬ original sound – Tinx
But what is true? If we judge the comments of the Tinx video a lot, because it has happened to his followers. Now if we focus on the fact that it’s based on Tinx’s own love life and that it only applies to heterosexual relationships, these statements sound more general than accurate to us, although the relationship expert Mario Mirante with 3.3M followers on TikTok, say the theory is as real as life itself.
Mario states that “men need 15 minutes max to know if you are their next fling one night or if you will be that person who will meet his parents.”
@mariomirante #stitch with @gintoxicpodcast You’re welcome. Follow for more ✨fun facts✨ #datingadviceforwomen #dating #relationships #situationship #situationship #relationshipadvice #mariomirante #fyp #fypシ
♬ original sound – Mario Mirante
What is true in the theory of the box according to experts
If we analyze the theory on a psychological level and based on a science that is proven, we find that there are experts who do agree, such as Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide. She claims to believe “firmly that men tend to decide the end game as soon as they meet a woman.” And she adds that it is not something exclusive to men, but to anyone. “We decide where we would like to go with a person as soon as we meet them. The specific box may change over time, but the first impression takes center stage most of the time.”
For Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias, it is more complicated. “Yeah we need to categorize and label everything, not just people”. This has to do with mental space and our need to simplify all the information we receive. “On a day-to-day basis we receive a lot of information and we are exposed to a lot of stimuli. We need to simplify and organize this information we receive, so that we can respond more adaptively and effectively to it. Hence the use of putting in labels or drawers already known to us, to make it easier for us to understand. This is where stereotypes and prejudices come from, for example. It is a useful strategy in the short term, to respond quickly to the stimulus or the situation.”
But in the long run it is not a good thing. Iria states that “It can lead us to errors or discrimination if we do not do the work of analyzing outside of those labels.”. In fact, and according to the expert, categorizing or labeling like this, even in a box, “is still an answer given without all the information.” If we want to get it right, we should “take the time to analyze the information, to get to know that person, to know the context in order to give a more long-term response and less based on first perception”. to a greater or lesser extent “each one will have to do the following work of collecting more information and do not fall into staying in prejudices and labels”.
“We might think that women have to be more selective for pure biological reasons (choosing a partner to procreate implies more risks for us and that would make us have to select better)”, explains Iria, and “they can choose multiple sexual partners and go leaving his seed out there without special risk to himself”, but this theory with which neither we nor the expert Iria Reguera agree with today, would not scientifically explain the truth of the box theory.
For Tinx it is simpler. In fact, he states that you just have to see how the man treats you and trust your instincts to know which box you are in. “If a guy wants to go out with you, you can feel it. If you find yourself wanting to ask him ‘What are we?’, you are in the flirt box and not in the one that he wants to be your partner. “Hopefully it is not true, because it seems like a way to recognize a misogynist More than a dating theory.
Photos | Gtres, Before Hamersmit, Curology, Wright Brand Bacon and Priscilla DuPreez in Unsplash
In Jared | Squirting: all about the wettest pleasure
In Jared | 7 Ways To Masturbate Without Using A Satisfyer Or Any Sex Toy (And Enjoying Like You Do)