I will not deny that how I Met Your Mother It has been a kind of “school” of love for me. Not always for the better, understand me. The denying I discovered it with Barnie, at the serial monogamous with Ted and I also found this out from benching in the famous sitcom.
We keep adding terms to our glossary of love because in times of Twitter and Tinder, there are more and more concepts from the other side of the pond that come to us to stay, as happened with the ghosting which, unfortunately, is becoming more and more common.
What is benching
It is not that we are going to invent the wheel or that this benching did not exist What’s more, it is likely that you have done it or they have done it to you even without knowing what it means. Is what in how I Met Your Mother It is called “the theory of the hook”, although the literal translation from English would be to leave a person on the bench. This concept comes out in season 5, episode 16 called “On the Hook”.
You can be single, with a partner or married and practice it. Not to be confused with the cookie jarringwhich refers to the tendency of people who are already in a relationship to continue flirting. The benching It is that relationship that you maintain for a specific interest.
It might be a sexual interest, or you just need someone to hang a picture for you from time to time. It is a selfish relationship in which the person on the hook does not know that he/she is, but remains hooked hoping that at some point the fisherman can be with him/her.
The only end of who makes benching it is to benefit from the other person, and for this he manipulates them to keep them in reserve. According to the psychologist Andrea Fernandez Garcia“it can become a form of emotional abuse” very similar to the paperclippingin which there are several repeating alerts:
- He always wants to meet, but “right now” is not the time. You never finish making an appointment and if you stay, something always comes up that postpones it, cancels it or postpones it.
- It is present (a lot) and disappears in what is called intermittent reinforcement. When he is, he is fully, but then he tends to be distant and even disappear. A kind of “neither with you nor without you” of relationships.
- Your environment does not know you. Let’s not confuse what they are doing pocketing, eye. Here you do not have a relationship, but it is normal for the name of someone you know to come up. In the event that someone makes you benching Your name will never come out.
The fact that new technologies and social networks have arrived facilitates this type of “relationships” since interaction can exist in a very simple way. A silly WhatsApp reminding you that it is there is more than enough to keep you on the hook..
If you are doing it, or they are doing it to you, stop. It is not beneficial for anyone (it is still the dog in the manger), and it is far from a healthy relationshipso it is best to cut ties so that each one can live with someone who is willing to give everything in a relationship.
Photos | how I Met Your Mother
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