You come home after a date. She has gone well, you feel that you have connected. You have laughed, talked and in the end there was even a kiss. A slow and beautiful one. I like it, you told yourself when you were coming home.
You have opened the WhatsApp and you have written a “I had a great time tonight, I already want to repeat it”. Send. The person has seen it, in fact you have seen it online. But he has disappeared. It shows no signs of life. Shit you think are you making me ghosting?Because? If it was a movie date!
Two days later he answers you with “it was great, yes, I want to repeat it too”. You think it’s an isolated case and you don’t give it more importance because you talk a little more and it seems that she did like the date and you think that maybe she’s just playing hard to get and it’s a little game.
The days go by, you talk from time to time but always, always, it takes what seems like life to answer. Every damn time. Although he ends up answering as if nothing. Friend, what happens is that it is making you cricketing.
what is cricketing
The concept cricketing comes from an animal. Of its sound. Specifically the cricket, an insect that makes a classic sound similar to a “cri, cri” that becomes uncomfortable in silence. But it has nothing to do with the bug, he cricketing It is a technique that alludes to “letting yourself be desired”or what is the same, wait a long time (too much) before answering a WhatsApp for example.
the people who do cricketing They are those that leave you in seen and do not answer you until two days later. They are those who never pick up the phone, even if they have it in their hands and who take the business to the next level. ghostingbecause they think that the expectation with them will be greater. They disappear, but you know they reappear in the style of what we explain with him breadcrumbing. But far from achieving desire with it, what they cause is frustration and the person who receives it is filled with doubts and insecurities.
In fact, one of the characteristics of this behavior is not that he “forgets” to answer you, it is that he deliberately lets that time pass, knowing what it can generate in the other person. He wants to have maximum control of the situation and be the one who decides when, how and where at all times.
How to tell if you are being cricketed
Far from what it may seem, it is not something exclusive to couples. You may be doing it with a friend, getting it from a Tinder date, or living it up after a breakup. If you write, he reads you and takes days to answer, it’s cricketing. If you always put off appointments you have and they never seem to come, it’s cricketing. If he deliberately ignores your calls and returns one out of every 10 calls you make, it’s cricketing.
Although we hate the ghosting (there are few worse ways to break up with someone than to disappear like that), he cricketing It can lead to even more frustration. because you know that at some point he will answer you. You don’t know when, but he will, so you may spend the day going into whatsapp and looking at his last connection time only to ask yourself more and more questions about why he doesn’t answer you.
In the event that you are spending time with your ex-partner, I am going to give you some advice that you have not asked me for: zero contact. It is one of The best tips to get over a breakup and I tell you from experience, that it is one of the ones that works best. Think that this relationship no longer brings you anything but bad things and walk away, as you would walk away from things that waste your time and in which you invest too much energy.
How cricketing comes perilously close to psychological abuse
Being cricketed can not only generate frustration, but also dependency and cause in you a state of anxiety constant. It makes us insecure, undermines our self-esteem and it is the first step of so many that, as Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias, explains to us, end up leading to psychological abuse.
If he has to punish you to attract you, we have a problem because we have already told you a thousand times: good relationships are the ones that don’t make you suffer. “Friend, realize”, if you have realized that it makes you cricketingthere it is not.
Photos | Joshua Rawson-Harris, Daniel Apodaca, Wolfgang Hasselmann and Samantha Gades in Unsplash
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