In the age of social media, all that glitters is not gold. And there is a risk to our mental health in its use, beyond the fact that we have an addiction to them. There is a danger of excessively comparing ourselves with what we see, and that this causes problems in our mental health and self-esteem.
He oubaitori It is a method that promises to take care of our mental health and its magic begins in its precious meaning that is born from four trees and that seeks, precisely, that we do not compare ourselves.
what is the oubaitori
Oubaitori “桜梅桃李” is written in Japanese and each of the kanji characters of this alphabet represents the flower of four trees: cherry, plum, peach and apricot. Each one is a different shade, pink, mauve, blush and white, and they all coexist but have their own order and time to do so, even though they all occur in spring. For the Japanese, all four have their own beauty and are not comparable to each other. And that’s where the magic is. Everyone contributes something and each one does it in their own way, adding beauty to the Japanese spring.
He oubaitori It is a Japanese method that takes the idea of these four trees flourishing, and applies it to people. It focuses on the importance of self-development and on a premise “don’t compare yourself to others”.
Compare ourselves with other people, something that we already saw here when we explained to you Why is it not healthy for us to compare our relationship with that of Rosalía and Rauw Alejandro?, it is counterproductive for us, we only see one side of the coin. The clinical psychologist Marina Mammoliti explained to us that “In psychology consultations it is almost a constant to hear that X person did X thing and that’s why I feel baddisregarding that each path is unique and incomparable”. And although she affirms that the comparison itself is not bad, but the way we do it is. “The way we compare ourselves is what hurts us deeply. Is there a healthy comparison? Of course, and it has to do with understanding what it is that I want from the other, to put all my efforts into going for it myself “.
Like he koseling helps us reduce stressmethods like oubaitori They help us with our mental health if we apply it in our life.
How can I apply the oubaitori in my daily life
The first thing to do is understand that if we apply the oubaitori In our life, we have to commit to ourselves and make changes by learning our strengths, so there is a very important job of introspection behind it.
It is a vital change that allows us to develop a more positive mentality and facilitates personal growth. But we can start apply the oubaitori in our day to day following five stepsthat explained the translator Jake Hallows and that he learned in his time in Hokkaido.
Be kind to yourself and aware of your inner dialogue
It is not a phrase for a cup of breakfast, it is something that Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias, has also recommended to us. As Iria explains, “the way we talk to each other and the things we say affect our self-concept”, so it is necessary move away from negative self-talk. Need be aware of how we speak to each other and do it in a friendly way.
Cultivate gratitude with yourself
It’s as simple as writing a “gratitude journal” or spend five minutes a day thinking about things you are grateful for. María Fernández explains in The little book that will make your life great, that “when we feel grateful for what surrounds us, we automatically inhibit any type of negative feeling.” Focusing on what we have achieved rather than what we have not achieved will help us to be more positive.
The little book that will make your life great
Change the way you use social media
We have already explained the danger they have, but that does not mean that they are bad and we have to disconnect from everything, simply we have to change the way we use them. We can simply identify the accounts that hurt us because we excessively compare ourselves with them, and leave a friendlier and more familiar circle.
Understand that each person has their own circumstances
As we have already explained to you, comparisons themselves are not a bad thing. The key is that we understand that each person’s path is different and that each one of us has circumstances. different. In this way, I understand that everyone is different and that what has been easy for another person may not be easy for you, we will take away the pressure of constantly comparing ourselves.
Use the success of others as a driver of change
Instead of complaining about what you haven’t achieved and others have, use their success as your own boost. A change of perspective that will help you gain motivation and focus on achieving your goals. For this, it is ideal that you take a look at what is the Galatea effect.
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Photos | AJ, rena, Karina Araujo and Masaaki Komori in Unsplash
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