Galena Rhoades, a psychologist at the University of Denver related in this study the breakup of a couple with an increase in anguish and a decrease in the life satisfaction of the people affected. So much so that, according to Janice K. Kiecolt-Glaser of Ohio University in this other studythe rupture can affect the immune system.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no magic formula for snapping your fingers and getting over a breakup. We cannot connect to a machine like in the wonderful Forget about mea film that perfectly narrates heartbreakand in the same way in each relationship it is different and each person is, each breakup has some times to overcome it and a process.
The good news is that we can make it a little easier on our broken heart and give it a few keys to overcome a breakup faster.
Do not hold back your tears and leave room for sadness
The McGill University of Canada states that experiencing pain, crying and letting sadness invade you is capable of speeding up the recovery time from a breakup. If we let go of grief and anger, we cry and we authorize ourselves to be wrong, we will shorten the duel.
In addition, Iria Reguera, psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias, warns us that “it is important that we attend to all our emotions”, also to sadness and sorrow. And he adds that “when we accept that negative emotions are also part of us, we will be able to have some control over them and learn tools to manage them in an adaptive way.”
If we refuse to be sad after a breakup, focusing on the thought of forgetting at all costs, we are only going to make the process of overcoming it last longer.
Focus on your ex partner’s flaws
This advice was given to me by a person I love very much when I asked him how he got over his latest breakup. The answer was “I made a list of bad things about my ex”. And the truth is that science supports it. This study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology states that people who after a breakup evoked the negative aspects of their ex had a lower emotional response during the study.
write a diary
As stated by James W. Pennebaker in his essay Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotions“write about feelings and experiences after a breakupaccentuates cognitive processing in a simple way”, which makes it easier for us to overcome the breakup in less time according to the psychologist. In fact, it is something that reaffirms this study published in Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences in which we see how written emotional expression reduces depressive symptoms.
do sport
Following this line, we are going to move from the head to the body, because it has been shown that doing sports not only reduces stress levels, but also helps us improve our relationship with ourselves both physically and mentally (something especially indicated after a break in which there is a drop in self-esteem), and can be helpful in cases of depression. So getting in shape will help us look better and reduce the time to get over a breakup.
Change the way you understand love
The last of the keys is given to us by the psychologist Silvia Congosta specialist in self-esteem, toxic relationships, couple conflicts and emotional dependence: “it is necessary to understand love in a more mature, healthy and rational way, and change our beliefs. Someone leave you, it’s actually a gift. If they don’t love you anymore, why do you want to stay there?”
Photos | Forget about me, Aaron Burden and Naomi August in Unsplash
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