It is more than clear that maintaining correct sleep hygiene is essential to have good health. There are some things we should stop doing before bed according to expertsand others that we can include in our routine how to exerciseand one of them includes our partner.
We have told you that sleeping naked with a partner (and also alone) It has numerous health benefits. Today we are going to introduce you to a term that instead of bringing us closer to our partner seems to push us away but, in the words of some experts, it could be the key to maintaining a healthy relationship longer: the “divorce of the dream”.
What is the “dream divorce”
When we talk about “sleep divorce” we mean the practice in which a couple sleeps in separate beds (such as in a double-bedded hotel room). twins), or even in separate rooms.
The objective is none other than to improve the sleep hygiene of both members of the couple, because we all know that sleeping with someone is not like in the movies where everything is a beautiful rosy fantasy. Snoring, restless people who move too much while others do not move at all, different body thermostats (one is cold, another hot and the drama is served), different sleeping hours and a long etcetera that may be affecting our quality of sleep. I dream if we sleep in the same bed.
This study claims that “oxytocin could be a neurobiological factor that links intimate relationships with sleep and with the health of both partners in the relationship,” and according to this other study, stable and long-lasting relationships have a better quality of sleep, but it is something that is not applicable to 100% of couples. Experts claim that each dream divorce must be looked at independently And, although the term can be alarming, it may be necessary depending on which couples.
The advantages of the “dream divorce”
The Dr. Rebecca Robbins, professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, stated that this practice is useful for couples in which one of the members suffers from a disorder such as sleep apnea, for example. In cases where one of the members of the couple snores, it is a more than recommended option, just like when we are dealing with people with different sleep schedules because one has a night job and another day job, for example.
If it is physically impossible to sleep with the other person because you are completely incompatible, it may be a remedy so that your health does not suffer and that sleeping badly ends up causing discussions of couple.
The cons of the “dream divorce”
As we said, the “dream divorce” is a practice that may sound horrible. In my case, sleeping apart was the first step to detect that something was not right in my old relationship. It caused a loss of intimacy and a distance that became insurmountable over time. There are even those who think that it could be a red flag that tells us that there is an infidelity.
For this reason, and before making a unilateral decision, the ideal, according to the experts, is to talk (we are still sure that communication is the foundation of any relationship) and agree on a plan that improves your sleep hygiene but in which the relationship as a couple is prioritized. If we eliminate the intimacy of sleeping together, it is essential that it be compensated at other times of the day to prevent the relationship from deteriorating.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Breus, known as Doctor Sleep, it is not necessary to sleep apart every day. “Some couples sleep apart five days a week and then together on weekends.” Whatever you do with the same premise as with any couple practice: discussed and consented to by both parties.
Photos | Priscilla DuPreez, Gaelle Marcel and Womanizer Toys in Unsplash
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