Dating in the middle of 2023 is difficult, especially if you see yourself single at 37, after a long relationship that ended with a breakup in which you found out that you had been unfaithful, which can have consequences for your lives. future relationships. A friend told me.
But since I am a bit of a Noemí Argüelles, I am going to tell you. Look, the friend is me.
I have seen myself single after more than a decade with a partner and when everything happened I could only think: how do I do it now? Dating apps still seem like night out to me Game of Thrones: it is dark and harbors horrors. Especially if we look at some of the flirting practices that exist now.
We are not talking about hardballing that technical practice with which we will not waste timebut of a practice that sounds cutebut in reality it hides many, many lies.
what is the kitten fishing
We might think that kitten fishing it has to do with something cute. After all, it is made up of the English word kitten what does kittens mean, and fishing, fish in Spanish. Kitten fishing, how can it be bad? Well, I’m sorry to tell you, it’s not like I have three adorable kittens. It’s like him catfishing or the wokefishingbut in a more subtle way.
The term was coined on the dating app hingeand he kitten fishing consists of appearing too positive and far from reality. Like a kitten. The dating app experts adopt They explain it very clearly: “it is applied to refer to people who use dating applications to show a completely false image of what they really are.”
It’s that person who uses photos of themselves from ten years ago on dating apps. That man who puts up a photo of when he still had hair or that girl who tells you she’s 1.70 meters tall even though in reality she’s only 1.60 meters tall. He is that gentleman who, at Ana Obregón, lies with her age. It is that person that if you tell her that you love croquettes, she “confesses” that she does too. Even if it’s a lie.
They can lie about their work, their tastes or about their own image. They don’t pretend they are someone else like in the catfishing, but the picture they show is not authentic. The reason for doing so may be due to insecurity, fear of rejection or lack of self-esteem. the psychologist Sharone Weltfried states that “the kittenfishers they try to optimize the probability of getting a first date because they believe they can win people over in person with their personality, charm, intelligence, sense of humor…”.
And the bad thing is that it is very common. According to a OnePoll surveynearly half of Americans singles have lied about something on their dating profile (47%).
It may just be the result of insecurity, but the kitten fishing it’s lying about ourselves to try to get on a first date. But there is something that does not seem to take into account who makes kitten fishingand it is that when he sees that everything he told me was a lie, the next thing that will happen is not a second date, no matter how overwhelming your personality may be.
You are starting a possible new relationship with lies and for me it is a sign that nothing will exist. affective responsibility future. And the excuse of “everyone lies” is not worth it, as if we were talking about the average level of English that we put in our curriculum even though we can’t say more than “I’am Anabel”. If you lie to me, I don’t want you around.
Photos | Rob Hampson, The Lucky Neko and Good Faces Agency in Unsplash
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