You are with your partner and you start flirting on the sofa, half stretched out. A kiss here, another there and in the blink of an eye you’re on a high while the ads are on TV. And before they’re done, you’re done. Rather he is finished.
It is estimated that some 3.3 million men in Spain currently suffer from premature ejaculation and 80% of the Spanish male population has suffered from it at some point in their lives, so the duration of sexual intercourse seems like something that worries couples.
When do we last in bed (and how important is that time)
According to a study of Journal of Sexual Medicine a sexual relationship lasts 5.4 minutes on average in heterosexual coupleswhich could imply that many women in these relationships do not reach orgasm and that there are many of them that they only reach orgasm when they masturbate. Many common-law couples look for their relationships to be longer in time, up to 13 minutes. according to this other study.
The issue of time can generate anxiosexuality and cause our sexual life is not as full as it could be. In fact, lasting longer does not mean being a better lover.
The truth is that lasting longer in bed, if we talk about a man coming, shouldn’t be as important as we thinkespecially if we give you some more information.
We have talked to you a lot (a lot) about the importance of sex not being coitocentric. In fact, according to this study of Platanomelon, 61% of the respondents said that it was easier for them to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and 87% of the women declared that they attached “great importance” to practices other than penetration. And this other study states that Young Spanish women prefer masturbation to penetration.
Never, and I mean never in neon letters, sex should focus only on penetration in heterosexual couples if we pay attention to all of the above, but there is a trick that works (and very well) when it comes to lasting longer in bed, and that is masturbation.
The trick to last longer in bed is to masturbate better
Although there are scientific studies who associate masturbation with improvements in premature ejaculation, we are not going to talk to you about this disease because in the case of suffering from it, the ideal thing is not to read this, but to go to the doctor to find out what is happening. Let’s talk to you about how learning to masturbate will improve your sex life as a couple as long as there is no medical problem behind it.
I know a guy who in a sexual relationship is capable of changing the rhythms and adapting them so that ejaculating is never the first thing on his mind. What he achieves with this is that both he and his partner manage to reach orgasm thanks to the fact that it lasts longer and that gives time for my friend to get aroused and reach a climax. Well, I’m going to tell you. Look, the friend is me. And the key to all of this is how she masturbates.
It is not an isolated case, nor an impossible one, but rather it is that he has “trained” his penis. According to sex therapist Tracey Cox, The key to delay ejaculation is to “re-educate” the behavior of the penis when it has an erection.. This is achieved with masturbation, which we have already told you how good it can be for our sexual life as a couple as well.
The expert talks about the implication that masturbation is given from childhood as something to hide, that it is prohibited and that you have to do it quickly before your parents catch you at home. If the penis takes two minutes to cum as a teenager, it’s not uncommon for it to take two minutes to cum when you’re having sex with a partner.
“Changing the masturbation technique can help to “re-educate” the penis“, says the expert. “Concentrate less on the most sensitive area (such as the head or glans) and spend more time on the shaft of the penis, for example, or the base. Try reversing the movement of your hand when you feel the orgasm approaching and bend wrist towards you so that your fist is twisted and the palm of your hand now faces the opposite side of your penis.This shifts the stimulation to different areas.”
Other tricks to last longer in bed
Touch yourself differently and you will get different results, because trying to do the same thing and getting different results seems rather ground hogging. The expert adds some extra tricks like having more sex (alone and accompanied) to have more control of ejaculation (we already told you what What happens to your body when you don’t have sex in a long time?), strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that play an important role in ejaculation control, or try different positions (here are some ideas for sexual positions to get out of the routine).
Increase the games, Practice the slow sexusing a condom or trying to stop and start if we talk about penetration, are more key to lengthening the moment of ejaculation.
Another trick is that you are the one in charge of masturbate your partner. If other hands are touching that penis, the stimulation changes, and it is more than possible to delay the orgasm just because, the important thing is not the climax, but enjoying the pleasure that we get from walking the path until we reach it.
Photos | ian dooley, Toa Heftiba, Claudia Love in UnsplashPaquita Salas (Netflix)
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