I’ll be honest. If I look at the clock during a sexual encounter, things are not going well. Good cause I’m not liking it (I’m working on communicate what you like and what you don’t in bed in a more assertive way) or because I am marking a spectatoring. So I don’t often wonder how long a sexual relationship should last.
But science needs answers for everything and when asked how many minutes a penetrative sex relationship should last for both of us to like, speaking of a heterosexual couple and of a man and a woman, it has the answer.
How long a sexual relationship “should” last to be satisfactory for both of you
The average in sexual relations is 5.4 minutes of penetration according to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The study was carried out by Dutch experts on 500 heterosexual couples, in which only penetration time was measured. The times varied from 33 seconds to a maximum of 44 minutes., which reflects that there is no “normality” per se in terms of duration, but rather an average. Average penetration, don’t forget it.
Although according to this other study, most want to reach 13 minutes in length in bed and always talking about penetration.
That’s how long it lasts, but how long does it take for a heterosexual couple to make the relationship satisfying for both of them? Well, let’s ask them, because it has been shown that men take longer to get aroused. According to this research, 645 women between the ages of 21 and 40, all in stable heterosexual relationships for an average of seven years and from 20 different countries, time to orgasm ranged from 6 to 20 minutes, a mean of 14 minutes. In this case, the time was measured from when they began to feel aroused until they reached orgasm.
But the most interesting thing about this study is that 69% of women never climaxed during penetration. According to this other study published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 37% of American women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and only 18% achieve an orgasm with vaginal penetration.
Well, the figure is given to us by the Pennsylvania State University, which in this report claims that the ideal average time for a satisfactory relationship for both is between 7 and 13 minutes, but talks only about penetration. And since the women of this newsroom have their own and different opinion, we are going to tell you.
Stop looking at the clock and forget about penetration
I want to use this data to break with coitocentrism who understands sex only as penetration and the rest of sexual practices as foreplay. There are no preliminary calls, there is sex without more, in all its forms possible. Kissing, masturbating, eating, touching. Everything is sex.
And although studies from universities around the world tell us what the penetration time a woman needs to reach orgasm is, the truth is that it has been amply demonstrated thanks to toys like the new satisfyerthat hePeople with a vulva do not need penetration to achieve an orgasm. and that not all of us can experience all types of orgasms existing. And that’s not bad.
Stop looking at the clock and prevent penetration from being the center of our world during a sexual relationship as a couple is the magic formula with which both, we will enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship.
Photos | Toa Heftiba, mimi lalaa and charlesdeluvio in Unsplash
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